Nobody’s better than me, but I am not better than anybody
You decided to read this article. Why?
Regardless of the reason, when you saw the link, you made a decision to check this thing out.
What’s the root of this decision?
How do people decide to do what they do?
Why do people decide to do what they do?
You were completely free to have ignored this, yet you didn’t. Why?
Let me a give you a theory.
You chose to read this article based on your prior experiences. You might have found me interesting in personal life (or) you might have read my other articles (or) you read random stuff about life in medium.
All your decisions are made with your prior knowledge. How did you get this knowledge?
Let’s go back in time to the day you were born.
You didn’t get to choose where you were born. You were just born, with no memory. Your family taught you how to eat, how to walk and how to talk.
Then you went to the school your parents chose for you. You learnt what you could from your family and made friends with people who seem to get you. You learnt the subjects the school wanted you to learn.
You grew up and it’s time for you to go to college. If you were anything like me, you had no idea what you wanted to study in college. You ended up choosing what department you could with your score and the knowledge you and your family possessed at that moment.
After your undergraduate degree, you could either study more or work. You made a ton of research, talked to a lot of people and chose the best possible option for you.
Along the way, you picked up the habit of reading (or) personally got to know me or someone who knew me.
Now here you are, reading this article.
You are here right now, because of the consequence of all your previous decisions. All your decisions seem to stem from genes, people and experiences.
So, what are you?
You are an accumulation of your genes and experiences.
You = genes + a1*family + a2*friends + a3*other living beings
where a1, a2 and a3 are coefficients (some influence you strongly than others)
Funny how YOU aren’t a part of what makes you. If my theory is right, you had no choice but to read this article, the same way I had no choice but to write this. It happened because it had to.
Stay with me here, because I am going to try explaining this in an experimental way.
Humans are creatures of habit. We are what our habits are.
What are habits? They are repetitive actions.
How do we act? We act when we have repetitive thoughts about that action.
So, we are what our thoughts are.
Now, where do all thoughts originate? Do we manufacture our thoughts or does it just appear in our consciousness?
Next time when you are free, take a few deep breaths and try to see where your thoughts are coming from and where they go. (If you want to try this with proper guidance, download the app, Waking Up by Sam Harris)
So, if thoughts do appear out of nowhere, what are we in control of? Are we in control of anything? Is everything fate?
Well, more or less.
There’s a distinction between voluntary and involuntary actions though. If you voluntarily hurt someone; it says a lot about you as a person. But we are limited in our actions as we are limited by our thoughts. When you have no thoughts of helping someone, you are not going to. Should you blame the person entirely for being misanthropic? You shouldn’t, because his surroundings made him think those thoughts and those led to his actions.
There’s also a sharp distinction between humans and other animals. Animals respond instantaneously to stimuli. Humans have the ability to pause for a moment, analyze what the stimuli is, consider different responses and respond (Most of us don’t because we seem to not have time)
Why are we even talking about this, if all I am saying is whatever success or failure you face doesn’t really depend on you but your surroundings?
It’s such a depressing view of life.
Well here comes the fun part.
When you truly accept that everyone is a product of their surroundings, you can finally accept who you are, be proud of yourself and tell the world proudly that ‘I AM WHAT I AM’. When you attain success, tell yourself that it’s not you, but a product of your surroundings. Enjoy your success but don’t dwell on them. When you make a mistake, face the mistake objectively and criticize the mistake, but not yourself. Regret your mistakes but don’t dwell on them. When life throws shit at you, keep walking, because you can’t do anything else.
When you truly accept that everyone is a product of their surroundings, you can finally accept everyone as who they are. When someone fucks with you, tell yourself “S/HE IS WHAT S/HE IS”. Be patient, empathize and help him/her. If you can’t help, remove yourself from their presence because you like it or not, if they are a part of your surroundings, they are going to affect you. Remember, human personalities are like rubber bands. You can stretch them, but you are going to break them if you exceed the limit.
When you truly accept that everyone is a product of their surroundings, you can start designing your life by designing your surroundings. Choose consciously the pages you follow on Instagram, the way you dress, the food you eat, the people you hang out with and just about everything because EVERYTHING MATTERS.
Well, feel like this isn’t really motivating you to work hard and succeed?
If your thoughts want you to work hard, then do it. At the same time, if your thoughts really want you to relax and have fun, then do that. All that’s important is you do what you like and have fun while doing it. Your first duty is to yourself, not to society.
Be careful when you are looking at your thoughts though. 80% of our thoughts are pure garbage. It is essential for us to differentiate benign thoughts from malign ones. (Try meditation if you want to be more mindful of your actions. It gives you that extra second to pause and observe your thoughts)
How do I personally use this theory in life?
Whenever I do something stupid and/or feel useless, I tell myself
“Nobody’s better than me”
Whenever I do something smart and/or feel egoistical, I tell myself
“I am not better than anybody”
Makes me feel grounded and stay humble.
Also, remember the equation?
I have no control on how I function and think. I am an accumulation of my genes, family, friends, the books I read, the videos I watched and the experiences I have had.
But I am an influence of some way to you, whether you like it or not, because you have already read this much. What I want, is to be a positive influence on you or none at all. That to me is my purpose in life, to be a ‘+’ sign in as many equations as possible.
I came up with this theory reading, meditating and listening to a lot of smart people talk. This is my perspective and interpretation on the illusion of free will, and if you are uncomfortable thinking in this manner, please do ignore. If you like how this theory sounds, read more. I did my best to explain this concept, but frankly a whole lot of people can do a much better job. (Read works of Sam Harris, Kurt Vonnegut, Daniel Dennett, Richard Dawkins)
I wholeheartedly believe in this theory. So, I would like to thank the universe for letting me have this perspective on life and also for giving me the opportunity to spread this idea in a concise and cogent way (I hope :P).
